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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

43 years and counting... So far so good (ptu...ptu...ptu!)

As the title of today's post suggests, I have attained yet another plateau in my continuing quest for immortality… so far so good.

In honor of this occasion I have finally decided to do that, oh-so-bloggy thing, and post an introspecive list of random ‘things’ about myself.

However, I wasn’t up to the customary ‘100 things’. That seemed so final. So instead I settled for a workable number... a number that corresponds to the sum of the years I've lived... but which also subtly suggests that I still have 'miles to go before I sleep.'

For those of you who enjoy the Harper’s Index - that venerable list where the reader is free (even encouraged), to draw inferences from the order and proximity of ostensibly unrelated factoids... this is nothing like that.

All of these ‘things’ are offered ‘as is’… ala carte… with no conscious rhyme or reason to the order or proximity. There has been no editing or rearranging (except to fix my horrendous spelling). I started with ‘1’ and stopped writing when I’d finished ‘43’. It took me just under 30 minutes. My brain (and ego) hurt when I was finished.

Those of you who are mental health professionals may now begin your analysis… Please show your work:

1. I was born on June 23rd, also known in parts of Scandinavia and Europe as Midsummer Eve.
2. I have an older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother… and our parents have been married for almost 50 years.
3. Each of us went through periods where we thought that mom and dad loved one of the other kids more.
4. Each of us was wrong.
5. I’ve always secretly thought of myself as ‘special’... a main character in life's great novel.
6. I'm terrified that I may one day find out I was just a bit character in somebody else's story.
7. One of my most enduring early sensory memories is the smell of bubble gum on baseball cards.
8. I have always loved my first and middle names (David Lindsay)... Thanks Mom & Dad!
8. Things often come too easily for me… as a result I have ‘follow through’ issues.
9. Almost every limitation I have is of my own creation.
10. Ginger or Maryanne? Maryanne. Really!
11. I was always labeled an ‘under-achiever’ by my teachers.
12. If I were in school today, I would be instantly diagnosed with A.D.D.
13. I am an observant Jew (some would call me Orthodox)
14. I hate the term Orthodox… it sounds judgmental.
15. I am very judgmental, but not about any of the things people would expect.
16. I did not grow up in a religiously observant family.
17. I am neither ‘anti-abortion’ nor ‘pro-choice’. Judaism values the life of the mother over that of the fetus… so I am in favor of any law that makes it legally possible to save a pregnant woman’s life.
18. In Judaism, a (would be) murderer’s life is considered to have less value than the life of the person he/she would try to kill… so, I (very reluctantly) carry a gun.
19. I am a terrible speller (due to mild dyslexia)
20. I am nearly innumerate (also due to mild dyslexia).
21. I am not afraid of new things… but I nearly always order the same thing in restaurants.
22. I swallow my gum. Always (this drives my wife insane).
23. I love bourbon and wine in moderation (although not together, of course).
24. I pretend to like single malt scotch.
25. Most of the time when I tease my wife for crying during movies… I’ve been secretly crying too.
26. Most vivid spectator moment: Being close enough to the field at Fenway Park (13 rows behind the Red Sox dugout) to hear the first baseman yell, “There he goes” to the catcher when the base runner tried to steal second.
27. My family moved six times while I was growing up.
28. People think of me as steady and reliable.
29. My greatest fear: Letting people down and being unreliable.
30. I am a member of Mensa.
31. I almost didn’t graduate from high school.
32. Even with my university degree, I sometimes feel like a fraud.
33. I feel secretly ashamed and angry when people ignore my advice or don’t agree with me.
34. I can’t stop myself from picking up other people’s accents.
35. I overuse parenthetical asides (as if you didn’t already know that).
36. I served four years in the U.S. Navy.
37. I have never slept as well as I did aboard my ship at sea.
38. I played trombone professionally in New York City for 17 years.
39. During those 17 years, I created less than 24 hours of what I would consider ‘truly great music’.
40. Given the chance to relive my life with that knowledge, I would gladly spend another 17 years for the sake of those 24 hours.
41. My wife and I both secretly think we were the one who got the better end of the deal.
42. I’m right.
43. My kids think I am a much better father than I really am. No matter how smart and well educated they may become, I hope they never discover the error of this particular assumption.

By the way, about that immortality crack earlier; Just kidding!!! I don't want to give myself an 'Ayin Hara' (evil eye) or anything, but just between us... I feel pretty lucky to be able to look back on 43 years and say without a moment's hesitation, "So far so good, ptu...ptu...ptu!"

Posted by David Bogner on June 23, 2004 | Permalink

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Happy Birthday David! From those of us who benefit from your daily doses of wisdom, here's to many more!

Posted by: Noa | Jun 23, 2004 10:38:07 AM

Yom Huledet Sameach, ad 120!

Posted by: mademoiselle a. | Jun 23, 2004 11:13:54 AM

p.s. I've always wondered about my IQ...maybe I should finally take the test, no matter what.

Posted by: mademoiselle a. | Jun 23, 2004 11:16:36 AM

Happy Birthday, Dave, from your elder sister (not elderLY!) This was a great list. I don't know if I could come up with the 46 I'd need for my list or wouldn't be able to stop once I got started! ;)

Hope your day was great and you ARE a great father, by the way! And a pretty good brother!

Posted by: Val | Jun 23, 2004 1:36:28 PM

Happy Birthday!

Great list. I am really glad to know that someone else does #34 besides me. And #22 is gross; I don't blame your wife. #41 and #42 made me sniffle; those are wonderfully sweet.

Posted by: Jan | Jun 23, 2004 2:56:48 PM

Maryanne. Definitely.
Happy Birthday.

Posted by: Ben Chorin | Jun 23, 2004 6:24:07 PM

#10 proves that you are a man of taste and style. Well done.

Posted by: Chuck | Jun 23, 2004 7:42:51 PM

Happy birthday!

Posted by: beth | Jun 23, 2004 7:49:53 PM

Happy Birthday old man.
(from another from '61)

Posted by: lisa | Jun 23, 2004 8:17:03 PM

From one David to another David:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Posted by: David All | Jun 23, 2004 11:45:10 PM

From one mildly dyslexic person to another

HAPPY 34th BIRTHDAY!

Posted by: jennifer | Jun 23, 2004 11:46:50 PM

From one David to another David:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Posted by: David All | Jun 23, 2004 11:46:53 PM

Yom huledet sameach - ad 120!

Posted by: 1rabbi | Jun 24, 2004 5:18:14 AM

Belated, But...
Happy Birthday

Posted by: Oceanguy | Jun 24, 2004 3:44:17 PM

Happy Birthday, young man! I arrived on earth a few years ahead of you. I have to say, looking back on it, #43 was a truly great year. One of the best, actually. Hope you enjoy your #43 as much.

Posted by: Gail | Jun 24, 2004 4:35:37 PM

Happy Birthday! You should take great pride in the beautiful life and family you have built for yourself. (insert ptu ptu ptu here.)
All the best wishes and brachot for the coming year, from the Wolicki Family

Posted by: Wolicki Family | Jun 24, 2004 4:36:19 PM

Happy Birthday - even if I missed by a day!! Way cool that you're a trombone player, it's one thing I'll always wish I had stuck with past high school.

Posted by: Beth | Jun 25, 2004 2:06:17 AM

David,
that post made me laugh and cry in turns, but I smiled through the whole thing! I am witness to some of your 17 years of trombone playing in NY (and wherever else Shabbatons happened to take you), so I say thank you! Happy Belated!

Posted by: Faye | Jun 27, 2004 5:43:28 AM

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