Blog Crushes

Amongst the flurry of e-mails that have surrounded the preparations for the up-coming Anglo (English speaking) blogger get-together here in Israel, a term caught my attention, and has sort of held it ever since.

The term is ‘Blog Crush’.

In the context that it was used (Hat tip to Bloghead via Dave), the term referred to the infatuation that several female bloggers seemed to be exhibiting towards one of the male bloggers (no, [sniff] not me) in the group. The infatuation, or ‘crush’ seemed to be purely platonic in nature (I'm assuming, since the women involved are married with families), but the concept of a blog crush made me start to think about my behavior and feelings towards the bloggers and journalers that I follow and admire.

For the purposes of this discussion, it is probably wise to differentiate between two distinct, but sometimes overlapping concepts:

Blog Envy – When a blogger views another blog with envy due to its high traffic, killer design, technical prowess, brilliant insights or some combination of thereof. At its worst, blog envy can sometimes result in poor blog-image, and even the inability to write (blogger’s block). At its best, it can inspire a writer to take his/her blog to the next level.

Blog Crush – When a reader begins to have frequent thoughts about what it would be like to meet and befriend one or more of his/her favorite bloggers/journalers. This can be accompanied by a growing loyalty to the blogger’s views, politics and even tastes. A fully developed blog crush can even result in an irrational desire to defend a blogger when a derogatory or rude comment is posted on their blog.

With rare exceptions (like the upcoming Anglo-Israeli Blogger get-together) most bloggers and journalers never meet their readers, or one another. Everything this odd global community of writers and readers knows about one another comes from a fairly heavily edited version of the writer’s (and commenter’s) real selves.

What we know about the people we read and admire (and what they know about us) is almost certainly the ‘Reader's Digest' version of reality. Anyone who spends any time on line reading blogs and journals knows this. Yet, when we begin collecting favorite reads for our blogrolls, some of them inevitably become objects of blog envy… and others become full-fledged blog crushes.

The more we read of our favorite writers, the more we like them, and imagine we know them. Thinking about the people on my ‘Good Readin’ list, I can honestly say that I would jump at the opportunity to spend an afternoon drinking coffee or beer with any one of them. I feel like I know almost enough about them to already consider myself their friend. But that important word ‘almost’ is what keeps a blog crush from becoming something unhealthy.

Earlier this year, my blog was mentioned in an article in one of Israel’s national newspapers. The resulting tidal wave of traffic included a couple of people who's attention made me a tad uncomfortable… and one woman who went way past ‘uncomfortable’ and forged on ahead into “[panicked stage whisper]:The calls are coming from inside the house!!!” Luckily, either she found someone else to stalk, or the blog crush wore off when she figured out what a troll I really am.

Also, just because I find a blogger infinitely fascinating doesn’t mean they feel the same way about me. For that matter, I'm fairly certain that several of the people on my 'Good Readin' list are blissfully unaware that I read them. That’s fine, too. I’m not one of those people who would accost Courtney Cox on the street with, “Hi! How are you? It’s me, David… You know… that was me watching you like, every Thursday night for like, 10 years!”

Clearly knowing about a person is a far cry from actually knowing them. I mean, it probably wasn’t very long before Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley stopped waking up in the morning thinking, “Holy sh*t, I’m really married to a superstar!”, and started thinking, “Dammit… That son-of-a-b*tch left the cap off the toothpaste again!”. When the mighty fall… they generally fall the full flight of stairs.

Does that mean I wouldn’t want to meet the bloggers I read (or those who read mine)? No, of course not. Like I said… I’d jump at the chance to meet any one of them! But that doesn’t mean it isn’t tempting… very tempting, to preserve that impossibly high level of esteem that can only come of not meeting them.

I’m sure one of the byproducts of this up-coming Anglo-Israeli Bloggerfest will be that my mental image of these talented people… the wise and witty narrative voices that I hear in my head when I read them… will be forever banished, leaving behind the imperfection of reality.

And I guess I’m ok with that.

After all, one day very soon some of the people who read treppenwitz (and who might have a little blog crush of their own) will discover for themselves that inside my Doc Martins… are feet of clay.