What's in a name?

I received a comment yesterday that reminded me that I'm not always as careful as I should be about explaining things to the extremely diverse group of people who wander through here. 

I mentioned in passing that the parent's of the wounded soldier I've been talking about have decided to give him an extra name.  With all the disengagement (disestablishment) stuff going on, and yet another right wing Jewish extremist doing a spot-on impression of a bloodthirsty terrorist, I simply forgot that many of you might not be familiar with this custom... or even the more basic naming issues in Judaism.

It is worth pointing out that my knowledge of this subject is paper thin in some places, and I would not mind at all if some learned people chimed in with corrections or additions to my meager efforts.

Without going into too much detail (and without clarifying the different naming traditions found in the Ashkenazi and Sephardi communities), here is some very basic information:

There is a lot of superstition surrounding names in Judaism.  Some traditions state that naming a baby for someone who has died will be a blessing to the deceased, and will impart some of that person's positive traits to the baby.  Others name for living people for similar reasons. 

There is also the issue of when to name a baby.  A girl is named in the synagogue at the first Torah service after her birth... and a boy is named at his Brit (circumcision) which normally takes place on the 8th day after his birth. 

Perhaps because there is a longer delay in a boy's official naming... from the time that a baby boy is born until he has has his Brit, he is considered (according to some) to be particularly vulnerable to 'bad things'.  I'm not specifically talking about any one 'bad thing', but some would call it the 'evil decree'... others the angel of death... and still others subscribe to the whole Lilith thing (go here for more info about Lilith). 

So whatever the basis, many people have the custom of not mentioning the real name of the baby until the official naming ceremony.  Others go so far as to use a false name for the baby until the real one is given in order to 'trick' the 'bad thngs' that might be out looking for him/her.

If several people have recently died in a family, some communities have the custom of giving a baby a secret name (which, according to some customs is never spoken) in addition of the real one in order to deceive the angel of death. 

In a similar vein... if someone is extremely ill, many have the custom of officially giving that person an extra name in the hopes that altering his/her identity will somehow alter the 'evil decree' against them.  For those with only one name this might mean adding a middle name.  For those with two names it might mean the addition of a third one.

This is what I was referring to when I mentioned that Elroi's parents had decided to give him an extra name today. 

The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 16b) states

"Four things can abrogate the decree of man and they are: charity, supplication, change of name and change of action."   

People around the world have been giving charity in his name... praying for him... and doing good deeds in his honor.  But as his condition remains basically unchanged his parents have decided to do the one thing that others can't do for their son.

When a baby is named they are given their name as follows:

[Baby's name] BEN/BAT (son/daughter of) [father's name]

This is also the name one is called in the synagogue.  But when someone is sick they are referred to as:

[sick person's name] BEN/BAT (son/daughter of) [mother's name]

I suppose that the nurturing nature of the mother-child relationship is the reason for this change in the way we refer to a sick person (feel free to tell me I'm wrong).

So while this wounded soldier's name on his 'dog tags' may be 'Elroi Mizrachi', this is not the name he was given at birth, the name by which he is called in the synagogue or the name we use in our thoughts and prayers now that his life is in danger.

Again, I apologize for mentioning this before without explaining it earlier.

UPDATE: This morning he was renamed Elroi (pronounced el-rowee) Refa'el ben Galia Glynis' (there were two versions of his mother's middle name circulating before but I have checked with his father and this is the correct spelling). 

As I've said before... I don't care if you use a book of Psalms, Rosary beads, chicken feathers or incense... please find a small place for this innocent young man in your prayers.  If organized religion isn't your thing, please just say his name a couple of times softly to yourself... and think good thoughts.