Unattractive self-absorption

Look, there is no excuse I can offer that will make this post OK.  It is selfish and thoughtless on too many levels to count.  But I'm guessing I'm not alone in having these thoughts so I may as well be the one to put on a 'kick me' sign and write about them.

In case you've been living under a rock, Israel is at war. 

We are at war in the south in an attempt to reign in the peace-loving Palestinians currently firing Qassam rockets at Sderot and Ashqelon... not to mention attempting to head off the tunnel diggers/ infiltrators.  Forget the fact that when we handed over every inch of Gaza a year ago, we were assured by our leaders that by now the Gazans would be engaged in the difficult task of state-building, not terrorism.   The current attacks make no sense according to our leaders... not to mention the accepted Palestinian narrative of struggle against occupation.

We are at war in the east (or west... depending on whether you are using the Jordan River as a reference) trying to deal with the daily shootings, Molotov cocktails and  attempted infiltrations/suicide bombings.  All of these ongoing attacks come on the direct orders of the democratically elected Palestinian leadership we were assured had been swept into power on an anti-corruption platform... not because of their unambiguous call for Israel's destruction.  "The Palestinians are simply tired of Fatah", I was told.  "They aren't endorsing Hamas' military agenda".

And of course we are at war in the north, fighting against an entity that, again, according to the Palestinians own narrative should have no dog in this fight whatsoever!  I mean seriously... Hezbollah has no plausible claims against Israel... unless you count the inconvenient fact that Israel continues to exist.   Hezbollah is a radical, Iranian-backed militant group whose raison d'être was to oppose Israel's presence in Lebanon after the 1982 invasion.  Once Israel withdrew they had no plausible reason to continue with the struggle.  They'd won!

The double irony is that the IDF's occupation of southern Lebanon in the 80s was to try to rescue northern Israel from the sort of bombardment it is presently suffering...  and, when we withdrew from southern Lebanon the decision makers pooh-poohed all warnings that such a unilateral move (i.e. without getting anything in return) would make Israel appear weak/vulnerable to Hezbollah.

I know... it seems petty to keep score, right?  It's childish to point out three specific warnings - all of which came to pass - that were brushed aside as 'alarmist Likud propaganda'.  Forget the fact that Kadima/Labor & Co. seem to have the collective memory of a goldfish when it comes to learning from past mistakes.  Every time they blink it's a new day.   But again, why quibble.  Mistakes happen.  Everyone's entitled to 15 or 20 identical miscalculations when dealing with the same armed thugs who are sworn to your destruction, right?

Anyway... glad I got that out of my system!

So what do I have to feel guilty about?

I'm feeling guilty because while my country is at war... while my friends' children are on the battlefield putting their lives on the line... while entire communities in the north and south are living in bomb shelters because of unprecedented levels of rocket attacks... I am sitting here fretting over what will become of my family's vacation plans.

There, I've said it.  I'm a shallow, self-absorbed person.

The only reason I'm writing this is because know I'm not alone.  Not by a long shot.

Nearly everyone I have spoken with lately seems to be wrestling with the same kind of guilty quandary.  August vacation time is almost upon us and one of two scenarios is playing out in the minds of many Israelis (those not in bomb shelters, that is):

1.  With long-standing plans to vacation abroad for a couple of weeks, it now seems vaguely unpatriotic to leave the country while a war is going on.  What if my reserve unit gets called up?  How can I tell friends living abroad that Israel needs them to come visit now more than ever while I'm thumbing through a brochure for Yellowstone National Park?

~OR~

2.  With long-standing plans to vacation in the relative cool of the Golan Heights and/or upper Galilee for a couple of weeks, the time has now arrived to face the reality that reservations will probably have to be canceled.  These northern tourist destinations are suffering hundreds of rocket attacks every day, not to mention the constant threat of attempted infiltrations of terrorists from Lebanon.  Yet they are about to be economically abandoned by their countrymen during the one month during which they normally see about 80% of the year's tourism revenues.

Trust me, one of these two thoughts is weighing heavily on many Israelis' minds this week... not because the vacations themselves are of such import, but rather because thinking about vacations at all at time like this seems treasonous. 

Surely Londoners didn't think about vacation plans during the 'Blitz'... and the French didn't fret about the loss of valuable leisure time as the Germans marched down the Champs-Élysées. 

OK, maybe the French were actually that self-absorbed... so let's just stick with the Brits.  Stiff upper lip and all that...

Here's the deal: Zahava and I fall into category #2 above. 

We've had long-standing plans to take the kids to the Upper Galilee in August for some camping and touring around.  For months the kids have been chattering about going to the nature preserve in the Hula valley.  They've been fantasizing about swimming in the cool waters of Hurshat Tal and the Kinneret.  They have already picked out camping equipment and claimed which side of the tent they will be sleeping on.  They have their own flashlights for crying out loud!

So for the past few days the subject of what is to become of our vacation has been looming just below the surface of every conversation.  Everyone is thinking about it... but nobody wants to be the one to broach the topic for fear of actually hearing the bad news out loud.

My parents, bless them, called to suggest that we all spend our vacation with them in their house on the beach in Connecticut.  Under normal circumstances this would be a wonderful idea... but right now there seems to be little comfort in switching from one of the less-than-satisfactory options above, to the other.

So the war goes on.  We put on our brave faces and fixate on the news.  Every soldier wounded is a national tragedy. Every soldier killed is the destruction of an entire world. 

And yet as July draws to a close, all across the country Israeli children are finishing up with 'ketanot' (day camps) and silently wondering what will become of this year's family vacation.  And the self-absorbed parents (including your host) are guiltily wondering right along with them.