Questionable moments in parenting

After posting about how laid back we've become about parenting since making aliyah, I got the sense from a few of you that we may have taken the whole Israeli 'Yehieh B'seder' (It'll be OK) thing a bit too far.

Let me assure you that Zahava is still very much a concerned, hands-on parent in the best American tradition.  I, on the other hand... well... suffice it to say that what follows will probably confirm your worst assumptions about my judgment as a parent (remember when I accidentally ordered Ariella a doll that had body piercings, tattoos, realistic body hair and a pocketbook stuffed with wacky tobaccy?) .

A few months ago I went over to a friend's house to drop something off, and our 12 year old son, Gilad, tagged along.  My friend had just been ordered to clean out a few of his closets by his wife, and during the excavations he'd come across a book that he thought Gilad might enjoy.  It was entitled "211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do" by Tom Cutler.

At first glance it seemed like a perfectly innocent collection of wholesome skills, parlor tricks and distractions for pre-teen boys... so I nodded to Gilad and he accepted the gift with thanks.

It wasn't until later that day that I realized that everything might not be as it seemed since Gilad hadn't put the book down.  In fact, Gilad - who is normally a reluctant reader (at best) - seemed oddly absorbed in the book.

I didn't want to make a big deal about it since I was genuinely pleased to see him reading.  So I went on-line and checked to see what Amazon had to say about it in their book reviews.  Here's what I found:

Synopsis:

"211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do" is the essential life-skills handbook for bright boys of every age [emphasis mine], featuring all the subjects they don't teach you at school or Scouts. If you reached adulthood without learning the exact rules of conkers, or how to take off your underpants without removing your trousers, or how to put a ship into a bottle, this is the book for you. Divided into handy sections, this fascinating volume contains easy-to-follow tutorials and priceless tips on: how to Be A Real Man - including how to mow the perfect lawn and how to fight a bull - with elegance; Weird Science and Sideshow Physics - spoon-bending, teach yourself mindreading, and how to lie on a bed of nails; Bracing Outdoor Activities - cowboy ropecraft, how to punt without looking a fool, how to head a ball, and how to make a boomerang come back; Militant Cookery - how to make your own pickled eggs, how to spit-roast and dress a suckling pig, how to make a proper pork pie; Parlour diversions - shadow puppets, easy tunes for the glass harmonica, and how to make a pinhole camera.

It also feaures tips on: The Human Body - how to make your hair stand on end, how to dissect a man [I admit I didn't notice this one], sumo wrestling for the beginner; Those Useful Subjects Not Taught at School - how to interrogate an uncooperative suspect, how to win money in a casino [this one slipped by unnoticed too], and how to blag your way in philosophy, science, art, and psychology; Gags, cons and practical jokes - classic old and boggling new tricks, juggling, and unusual party pieces for the classroom, pub and restaurant table, plus much, much more. This volume won't improve your morals or make you smell nice, but it will entertain and inform. So if you've always wanted to know how to tear a phone book in half, how to identify airline insignia, or the essential moves of Morris Dancing, this is the book you've been waiting for.

Clearly I didn't read all the way to the end, because I'm kinda sure I would have noticed a section on dissecting a human body.  Suffice it to say that I left him alone with his new book and didn't give it another thought until much later when I found it sitting on the couch.

I picked it up and started skimming through the table of contents:

Here is a scan of the complete contents, along with some notes I've added (you may have to click to embiggen) :

Contents - Page One

 

Contents - Page Two

Contents - Page Three

Contents - Page Four

Contents - Page Five

Contents - Page Six

I have to admit that the overwhelming majority of the '211 things' that author Tom Cutler has laid out for 'boys' who might read this book are not only quite wholesome 'Boy Scout' type diversions... but are just the sort of thing I would want my kids to do in their spare time instead of watching TV.

But when you take into account the half dozen (or so) 'questionable' topics, the the only way one could reasonably consider this a collection of 'Boy Scout-type diversions' would be if the Jamboree was being held with a 'Lord of the Flies' theme and without the benefit of adult supervision.

Taking the book away from him at this point would be a classic case of closing the barn door after the horses have run away.  After all, he has memorized entire sections of the book and has guessed - correctly, I might add - the bra size of one of the women in the household ( and yes, he was cut down to size over that one).

Clearly some damage control is in order... and there isn't much question of who needs to do it.  After all, since I'm the one who OK'd the book, it makes sense that I'm the one who needs to sit him down for a chat.  But once Gilad understands that not all the topics in the book are appropriate for public discussion (or demonstration) I'm totally going to ask him if I can borrow it!

Note:  If you want your own copy... go here (or pick up a used copy on one of the discount sites like abebooks)